Hominid confirmation, engagement, and termination
by SpectreDelta
Summary: a realistic view on what would happen should a homicidal 2D Flash alien threaten our very way of life


It had been nearly a week since the first alien ship had crashed near the town of Fukkville, already reports were coming in that an unknown life form that could only be described as "ridiculously cartoonish" and "something straight out of a flash game" was roaming the streets. Things got worse, reports started that the strange yellow freak actually began killing civilians as well as several law enforcement officers in the area. The intel they had so far suggested that this thing was not very intelligent, seemed only capable of walking left and right, is believed to see everything in a cartoony, unrealistic fashion, and has a disgusting taste for eating the heads off of human beings while they were still alive. A few attempts by local law enforcement had been made to stop this freak however since they were given a harshly limited budget partially due to the fact they were trying avoid any media attention all attempts had failed, not just that but with the deaths of several officers as it was, it was obvious a greater force was needed, however at the same time it was imperative that secrecy was maintained and the media did not find out about this, however with most of the CIA being involved in the cold war, it was obvious a more national law enforcement agency had to be involved. This agency was the FBI. The first agents arrived at Fukkville only a few days after only a few days after the requests had come in. Only two were sent, their job was not to kill the horribly disfigured cartoon character from hell, but simply to confirm its presence and gather intel about it from local Police, and Sheriff departments. It was around 2AM when agent Scotte and his partner Agent Korritor entered the police station.

"What's the status on this thing," agent Scotte asked, putting out his cigarette on a nearby desk. Police Chief O'brian who was leading the operation against the "hominid" quickly responded, "all we know so far is that this thing seems to only be capable of walking forward and backward like he's in some 2D world, he also seems to posses some sort of strange firearm, though it is highly dangerous it too seems only capable of traveling in two directions, we've doubled our patrols to find this thing, a few of our officers even claim to have shot it, they say it always retreats to the same area after a certain amount of time"

"And what about casualties?" Scotted asking looking casually down to his partner's notepad

"Ah, sadly there have been a few, most of them happened shortly after the initial landing, the things stayed away from civilians for the most part though, we've lost a lot of good officers to this thing though." Chief O'brian said looking down

"right but how many, and in what manner were they killed" Scotte said almost interrupting the chief

"what" the chief said almost startled, he quickly looked back up went on, "oh well I'd say at least 12 by now, most of them were killed by that strange laser gun of his, I tell ya' though this thing's fucking weird, it ate some of their heads, their whole bloody heads! Clean off their body"

Agent Korritor gave a quick disgusted sneer before writing it down

"alright and did you or anyone here actually see him do any of these things, either shoot, bite, or whatever it was you said, eat their heads" Scotte asked almost impatiently

"ya, I several, this one's sly little bastard though, once he gets in close he can really do a number to ya, sharp claws and teeth on this one" Chief O'brian said

"Ok, and you said there was one location he always seemed to go to after a certain amount of time?"

"That's right" Chief O'brian stated

"Do you have any maps or logs that would point out exactly where this location is?" Officer Scotte asked

"Right this way" Chief O'brian said and he proceeded to lead them down a long hallway and into a garage sized room full of filing cabinets, computers, and secretaries, once in Police Chief O'Brian immediately went up to one of the secretaries and muttered

"We need those files on the Hominid; the feds are finally here to take over this case"

The secretary nodded and muttered something like, "about damned time" but it was hard to hear for sure over the sound of phones ringing, and several keyboards being typed on at once. After a brief wait the Chief finally returned with a few files and folders, as he handed them to Scotte he said, "I've also included the KIA reports on those downed officers, be careful out there we've lost a lot of good office-"the Chief began to say but Agent Scotte after already hearing what he needed to left, along with his partner Agent Korritor.

The next day was bright and sunny just like it always was in Fukkville. Today Agent Scotte and Agent Korritor after reporting what they had discovered had been given orders to setup a stake out near the location the alien or "Hominid" as it was now being referred to, was seemingly taking refuge. The area was near the edge of Fukkville and was apparently a dumpster located in an alley between an old Pizza Hut™ and a random brick building that seemingly served no purpose but to be a large dark building. For a while there seemed to be little to no action the area beside a few cars passing by and an occasional hobo stopping to take a piss on the wall. Then after a few hours of silent observing a random person walked up to the wall, seemingly to do graffiti or some other way adolescence express themselves by putting things on public walls even if they are just there to provide a semi-interesting setting. However as he approached the wall a strange clanging sound began to emit, seemingly from inside the dumpster

"Scotte, wake up" Agent Korritor said nudging Agent Scotte awake,

"What!? Are they here? Have the reds finally invaded?" Scotte asked in a panicked but clearly just awoken tone

"No, check this out, I think we've got our Hominid confirmation" Korritor said nodding towards the dumpster that was a several yards away from their parked car.

"Good, let's show this bastard some American justice" Scotte said taking the MK.24 handgun from the holster in his jacket and cocking a .45 into the chamber

"Holster that weapon!" Agent Korritor snapped, "Our orders are to investigate and report on this thing NOT ENGAGE IT, you heard what Chief O'Brian said, despite how retardedly cartoonish this thing looks it is an armed and dangerous threat"

Agent Scotte grumbled and clicked the safety on and returned the gun to its holster.

Meanwhile the Dumpster continued its strange grumbling as the bewildered kid looked around in terror, of course not noticing the black sedan parked only a few yards away. Suddenly and abruptly the flap flew open on the dumpster and a horrid yellow 2D looking thing flew out and attached itself to the kid's back

"Fuck, are you seeing this!?" Agent Scotte said pressing his face to the window with a wide eyed expression

"Damn that thing's uglier than I thought, Funny, from what I heard I thought he'd be taller" Said Agent Korritor trying to avoid watching a helpless kid being butchered by an homicidal cartoon from space.

It's weird thought Agent Korritor to himself, you never see kids in gamed were people die, they're obviously there, like on the planet but not ever where the game takes place, probably because of how offensive it would be to see something like that or even have to actually have to do something like that, but then again why would they make a game were you're a 2d cartoony alien that terrorized people, well I guess if it was the soviets- his though was cur off by Agent Scotte Puling out his gun and opening the car door

"Fuck our orders, I'm not standing by and watching this thing EAT an innocent civilian, a kid no less even if he is more like 18 or so" With this Agent Scotte left the car and began approaching the scene with his weapon drawn and pointed directly at the Hominid

'Damnit this is not a good idea, scotte your going to get yourself killed' thought Agent Korritor as he watches almost helplessly.

Meanwhile the alien had begun tearing apart his victim leaving bloody gashes all over the kid's back where the Hominid has lodged himself, the kid of course the whole time screaming in pain while trying uselessly to pry this thing off his back had finally collapsed in a corner, the Hominid seeing the opportunity crawled the rest of the way up his back tearing out flesh as he did so and consumed his head in one clean bite. The screams immediately stopped and now only a disturbing crunching and squishing noise could be heard as the Hominid ate the helpless kid's top most appendage, leaving his headless corpse to flow an already large pool ob blood all over the alley. By this time Agent Scotte was near enough to the scene to yell out, "Freeze, this is the Unites States Federal Bureau Investigation, surrender now and you will not be harmed, lay down your weapon, and get on the ground with your legs spread" Agent Scotte said in a very stern voice but seriously does anyone really think that will work for one if it did what kind of story would this be and for two he's a freaking alien he doesn't know any more English than an illegal immigrant. The Hominid looked up at him spitting out pieces of skull and excess brain tissue, Agent Scotte returned the glare and looking right into its eyes he said, "Get some bitch" with this as if from a movie or something the Hominid turned as if to pick up something behind him, Scotte took this to his advantage and immediately fired two shots one hitting it square in the arm and the other in its back. The Hominid turned, confused, as if pain was not a cconcept he was familiar with "Yeah, that hurts doesn't it?" Scotte said still aimed at the creature.

'What the hell does he expect that thing to do' thought Agent Korritor watching from the car, 'it's obviously not going to surrender, and I can guarantee he won't arrest it'.

By this time the alien had picked up whatever it was it was reaching for, it was a strange also cartoonish looking metallic green barrel, with what looked like an inside out radar on the end of it. Scotte immediately began to fire on the Hominid again however he only managed one shot which hit it square in the lower jaw thing before the Hominid managed to fire a short burst of plasma like projectiles which seared into Agent Scotte and he immediately fell to his knees. Looking half shocked and half in pain Scotte stared at the Hominid and his MK24 slowly fell his hands and crashed against the concrete ground. Scotte gave one last painful glance at the car where Korritor was watching before falling to the ground writhing in pain; however the death throws were short as the plasma inside his body soon fried anything leaving him lying face down in a concrete lot, between an old Pizza hit and a random brick building, dead. The Hominid not aware of another FBI agent quickly fled back into the dumpster, it too was bleeding a strange fluid from its recently acquired wounds. Agent Korritor watched in horror as his long assigned partner now lay dead in a deserted alley way. The only thing left to was to report back to HQ. Later, that night back in the security of the cheap motel room they had been assigned Korritor made a call to the FBI director to inform him of the mission change

"I told you not to contact me on this line unless it was an emergency" FBI director Jim Hansean said firmly

"It is" Korritor said trying to sound as serious as could while dealing with the loss of his long time partner, "It's Scotte, he's dead, KIA, that thing got him"

"How the hell did that happen I specifically told you NOT to engage, don't tell me you couldn't even handle that" Jim said growing angry

"Sir, a civilian was being assaulted by this thing and Scotte tried to be a hero an-"

"hmmm, yes I see," Jim said in a more understanding tone, "regardless he was out of protocol, I'm just glad he did for a good reason, anyway thanks for the update we'll have an element sweep the area at 0800, Hansean out" with that the phone call ended and Korritor just sat thinking about what he had seen happen right in front of him and yet he failed to stop. He sat on the edge of the worn down bed in the cheap motel, Scotte was probably still out there, lying face down right where he was this afternoon, unless that thing's gotten to him, thought Korritor growing angrier at the thought. Anyway I should get some sleep if I'm going to help kill this thing and with that Korritor turned out the light.

A knock on the door awoke Korritor he turned to look at the clock 7:30, it figures they'd show up early he thought to himself reaching for his suit and badge. When he opened the door he was met by about 12 agent all in tactical gear the one front spoke to him first, "You're agent Korritor I take it, may I see your bage and ID?" after showing him the proper ID he went on to say, "I'm sergeant Nitsua here with the 32nd FBI tactical assault team here in Fukkville, I heard you've got a little problem you want us to deal with?" Korritor proceeded to explain to them the event in which he had witnessed the day before and finally concluding with the painful death of his partner, "Don't worry mate" Sergeant Nitsua said assuringly, "He didn't die in vain, we'll get that bastard". With that he led them out to a large armored van which was waiting a few blocks from the motel, after being given direction from Agent Korritor they quickly approached the location in which the Hominid had been reported. Immediately the two point guards exited the vehicle riot shields in hand followed by the two assault units, and covered by the rear guards. As they Approached the dumpster it began to make the same clanging noise it did yesterday only now for Korritor it was only a few feet away. "Watch your spacing this could be it" Sgt. Nitsua said. And with that creature leaped from the dumpster and attempted to latch onto one of the point guards but was quickly beaten back by the riot shield, after stumbling back the Hominid attempted to reach for his gun but the assault units had already opened fire and before he could even turn around nearly all of his limbs were full of 5.56mm bullets. The hominid writhed in pain and after realizing his chances of survival turned and began attempting to half limp and half drag himself away,

"Hostile is moving, 12' o clock I've got a clear shot sir" said one of the assault units.

"Negative, hold your fire" Sgt. Nitsua said turning to Agent Korritor, "I believe we owe someone else the honors"

Agent Korritor smiled and said, "With pleasure" pulling his MK23 from its holster.

As Agent Korritor approached the Hominid it started trying to struggle faster across the lot Agent Korritor aimed his MK23 right at the back of its head and said, "Here's some real American justice" and with that he fired one round square into the back of its head, it stopped moving instantly. Now it lay face own on the concrete, its brains splattered all around it as well as the strange fluid it had for blood. Korritor turned to the assault team and smiled, Sgt Nitsua smiled back. "We'll have a hazmat team clean this up and take care of the body, as for us" he said looking to the team and Korritor, "I think we're done here."


End file.
